To Become Nothing

My greatest fear is being forgotten

when there is not a single person 

in the entire world

who will think of me again

 

if that were to happen

I will have never lived

there are no memories

to tie me to this world

 

I will not have died

because I never was

that is my greatest fear

to never have been

 

I do not fear death

I do not fear pain

I do not fear darkness

I do not fear loneliness

 

this is something far deeper

something more terrifying

than any of those things

pain, death, loneliness

 

I fear not feeling

never having felt

I fear becoming nothing

 

 

 

 

Maybe…

We are told our whole lives

Not to bully others, but yet we bully ourselves

Telling yourself you’re not good enough, calling yourself names

Its just as bad as someone else doing the same

Wake up in the morning, afraid to look in the mirror

Scared of the reflection that is just a glimpse away

Then you start to think:

Maybe if you were skinnier

Maybe if you don’t eat

Maybe if your thighs were the size of your calves

Maybe if your calves were the size of your arms

Maybe if your arms were the size of your wrists

But no thats not true

Those thoughts shoudn’t be coming from you because

Maybe its just that you want your brain to be the size of your heart

So that your love can be bigger than those thoughts

Broken Promises

It’s getting harder up here to breathe.

Thick smoke is now smothering me.

Clouds of black fill my skies.

Tonight there are no tears to cry.

I dump the liquid in my mouth.

Poison that promises my way out.

The rope pulls tighter on my neck.

Threatening the remains of a harsh train wreck.

The flames burn deep throughout my flesh.

The sting of pain keeps old memories fresh.

I toy with the blade that rests in my hand.

I only long to leave this land.

I try to think back to a time

When I had no reason to rhyme

Back before I met that thief.

Before he caused me such great grief.

My innocence is what he stole.

Now he is hunting down my soul.

I take the knife and start to carve.

My body is weak, for I have starved.

My will has nearly disappeared.

My heart was the target of his spear.

There are no windows here to break

But somewhere, I know awaits my escape.

Hatred seeps slowly through my veins.

Until I cut and start the rains.

On and on I hear him shout.

Oh what happened to my way out?

If I had wings to fly away

Surely I could have escaped any day

I’ve had much more than I can take.

I’ve bent and bowed, now I break

There is nothing more for me to say.

I’ll go now, be on my way

I’m still alive but I have gone insane

My silence is only screaming my pain

Time is Running Out

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Every second. Every minute

spent looking at the clock.

 

Hours pass, and days go by

The memories begin to fade

right before your very eyes.

 

You were there. Now, you’re here.

Funny how much can change

In only but a year.

 

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Every second. Every minute

dedicated to that clock.

 

Your heart is filled with regret and sorrow,

and the truth starts sinking in.

Eternity sees no yesterday nor does it tomorrow.

 

Try you may, and try you might

reality you cannot phase.

The truth has won this fight.

 

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Every second. Every minute

you are nothing without that clock.

 

Nothing more than a grain of sand

in this hourglass called life.

You cannot have the upper hand.

 

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Way too focused on that clock.

My Story

So tired of people
Thinking they get what I’m all about
Acting cool to my face
Then turn around, run their mouths

They never witnessed the battle
All they see are the scars
They disregard all my effort,
Make no note of my gain,
And label me with words
That leave invisible scars

Now it’s my turn to speak.
The mic’s been given to me
I have a story to share
About who I used to be.

See you all think that you know me,
But I say you don’t.
No, you don’t have a clue,
Well listen close
You just might learn something new.

I’ve seen things you could never imagine,
Not even behind your closed eyes.
I’m a living dream, you see
Your childhood nightmares
Are my reality.

There’s a reason I don’t climb up the social ladder
that’s got you all out of breath.
I’ve been too busy fighting.
And the fact of the matter’s that this war rages on in my head.

I’ve faced demons
That’d make even the scariest of monsters
Tremble with fear.
Only to find that the real beast
Was staring me down in the mirror.

I fell so far down
The only place left was up.
I burned so many bridges;
cut all my ties,
But I held on to hope.
I learned to die,
Taught myself how to love.

So take a stroll with me.
Let me show you my city.
Brick by brick I’ve built it up.
And wall by wall they’ve torn it down,
But nothing’s stopping me now
I will never back down.
I’ll raise a home from the ground.

So there you have it
That’s my side of
A story that you knew nothing about.